An Amputation

The best way to describe what it feels like without

Austin here with us is this ~ it's like we've suffered an amputation.

None of us has lost a limb, so I cannot say if this is an accurate analogy.

But, if we could imagine what it would be like to lose

an arm or a leg, it may feel something like this.

His absence has left a hole in our family.

  

We are used to being in constant contact with each other

in the comings and goings of day to day life and living.

We've never been away from our children for very long.

Howie's longest separation from us was on a business trip ~

he was away for eleven days.

I had the opportunity to go to Wales to help our precious

Uncle die at home ~ I was gone for two weeks.

Austin's been in Heaven now for over five weeks.

Oh, how desperately we miss him.

It hurts.  We can easily be brought to tears.

Without warning, the sadness wells up inside and spills out.

Yes, life goes on.  But, Austin's absence is felt.  Keenly.

In the empty bedroom.  The empty desk.

The empty place at the table and in the van.

In my counting out five, not six, place settings.

In evening devotional times, and when Fraser plays the piano ~ alone.

In the violin sitting silent in its case, and the music on the stand unplayed.

I am missing...

Hearing his voice and feeling his hug.

Passing him on the stairs or in the hallway.

Seeing him drive up the street with a wave and smile.

Hearing him say ~ "Good Night", or "Good Morning".

I miss the connection with him in the sense of humour we shared.

I miss the thoughtful things he would say or do.
His quiet presence was precious.  I didn't realise just how much.

In all these ways, and so many, many more ~ 
he is missed.  Terribly.

~ L to R: Austin (9), Emma (2), Calvin (7), Fraser (5) ~

But, God is Greater than our grief.

He is Greater than our sorrow and even our loss.

He meets us in this journey and walks the path with us.  He goes before us.

Our loss is only temporary.  Our loss is Austin's gain.  He lives.

And, one day we will join him in Heaven to worship our Saviour forever.

Eternity is real and everlasting.  Time is temporary.

This separation is for such a short while, in reality.

Oh, that we would have eyes to see

and hearts to truly believe and comprehend these things.

By God's great and merciful grace, we do.  We will.

We must continually remind ourselves that

though we miss our Austin, he is not missing us.

He is HOME.  And, he is rejoicing.

One day, the LORD will take us Home as well.

Heaven is more glorious than we can imagine.

And best of all, the Lord Jesus is there.

"...Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man,

the things which God hath prepared for them that love him."

~ I Corinthians 2:9 ~

How precious it is to know that the LORD has Austin with Him,
and that he is well and free from pain and suffering and sin.

He is praising the God he loves.

These thoughts ease some of the pain of this separation.

It is a comfort to our hearts.

And so we continue on.

Moment by moment.  Step by step. With the LORD.

It's what we are called to do.  By HIS Grace.

Many Blessings,
Camille

Twenty-Two Years Ago

Twenty-two years ago, on this day,

at 10:30 in the morning ~ I married my Sweetheart.

We were young.  We were happy.  We were full of hope.

We had no idea what joys and sorrows lay ahead.

We didn't need to know.  It was a blessing that we didn't.

By God's Grace, we were building our lives together on the LORD.

And, He is Faithful.  SO Faithful.

We have nothing to fear when we are HIS.

At our reception we sang "I Cherish the Treasure of You" to each other.

One part of the song includes these words ~

"This sacred vow I make to you, does not contain an "if",

though I'm aware that trials lie ahead.

I will love you, and pray with you, and through it all I will

stay with you, our home will be a refuge of unconditional love."

It's a beautiful song and very meaningful.

And, it's all possible with the LORD.

We have had many happy times ~ many joy-filled times.

There have also been times of sorrow, 

as well as trials and troubles along the way.

But, God is Faithful.  He does all things well.

Prior to our precious Austin's passing,
we had ups and downs in our lives...as everyone does.

However, nothing compares to the depth of this sorrow.

We've never gone through anything like this.

But, God is Greater and He is Deeper.  

His ways are best and He walks this path with us.

Last night, we tended Austin's grave together.

It's what we did for our anniversary date.

Twenty-two years ago, we could not have imagined ourselves here.

But, we are here.  And, so is our Precious Saviour.
Each step of the way.

Many Blessings,
Camille

Another *L* in the Family

It's official ~ I'm getting old.  :)

Our Calvin has his learner's license ~

wasn't it just yesterday that he was our baby?

Time waits for no man, or, in this case ~ woman.

We must enjoy these seasons or we will forever be looking back

with fondness on days gone by all while missing out on today.

One day, I will look back fondly on these days ~ 

at least, I think I will.  *Wink*

As I advised when Austin got his learner's ~

Get out of the way!  :)

This is going to be an adventure.
Calvin's logged just over an hour ~ only 59 to go.
He must have an instructor (mostly me) with him for the first year and 60 hours ~
then, he will be able to challenge the road test for his *N* classification.
I'm in no hurry for this year to pass by ~ however, I do hope I survive it. 

On a side note ~ I have a little story to share about the 

vehicle we teach our children to drive in...

she's affectionately known as "Old Betsy".

When we acquired this family van, I was expecting Emma.

We were unable to fit another baby into our car, so a van was a necessity.

When we purchased her, Betsy was a new-to-us seven year old vehicle.

I casually mentioned to Howie that I thought she would be a

great van for the kids to learn to drive in ~ he laughed.

Austin was not quite seven years old at the time ~
when he would be old enough to drive, the van would be sixteen.

I smiled and secretly hoped I would be right.
And, I was.  Betsy is perfect.
And, she made it.  She's eighteen.

She's got a scratch or two already and

over 200,000 km on the odometer ~ a great provision, if you ask me.
Hang in there Betsy...you only have to last another six years ~
That would see us through to the end of Emma's year of learning.

What about you?  Have your children begun the adventure of driving?

Will you teach them to drive when the time comes?
If you do, please know that you have my greatest respect.  
It's certainly not for the faint of heart ~ or the weak of stomach. 
Let's cheer one another on...okay?  :)

Many Blessings,
Camille

Bits and Pieces

Life's been full of random things lately.

It's been busy and good.  Never a dull moment.

These are bits and pieces of our lives from recent days.

Howie had the rare opportunity to work on his R/C plane

and take it flying ~ he only broke one piece of it this time!  :)

Calvin is one brave boy when it comes to electronics ~

here he is attempting to replace a computer part.
In case you are wondering, it hasn't come together yet.  
Perhaps it will ~ time will tell.  
He has had success in the past, I'm sure it will happen again.  :)

Emma has quite the collection of Geronimo Stilton books ~

they are silly and colourful adventure stories.

They are great for reading in the bath.  :)

I've been baking a few new things lately ~

this was one of those *new things*...YUM!  :)

Even though the weather on May 13th was cold,

Fraser and Emma braved the waters of the outdoor pool.

It was the opening day of the swim season ~

Emma's philosophy is that if it's open, we must not miss out.

Don't they look like they are having a good time?

Brrr....it was too cold for me!

Mother's Day produced some of these ~ aren't they beautiful?

The *old* Austin continues to emerge ~ It's a wonderful thing!  :)

Fraser got his first *for pay* lawn cutting job

at a neighbour's house ~ it's to last for the season...what a blessing!

Calvin graciously went to help out ~ another blessing.

Howie tackled a plumbing job for me ~ 
now, that's love...don't you think?

Only one part was required for the job, and below is the bill ~

what a provision!  SO thankful we didn't have to hire a plumber.  

Emma's taken to playing outside on a picnic blanket with

the neighbour girl ~ they play Monopoly, Uno, Life and Taboo.

What about you?  Are you treasuring up some memories?
It would be lovely if you would share them with us here.
Enjoy these days ~ each one is a gift from HIS Loving Hand.

Many Blessings,
Camille

The View From Here

I know that one day I will forget.

My memories will fade.

And, partly, that is why I blog.

I blog for many other reasons, but this journal

of life in the here and now is a very important part of it.

I remember when the kids were small,

I thought it would go on and on and on in the same way forever.

And, then things changed.  They changed.  Routines changed.
It snuck up on us slowly, rarely did it happen suddenly.
And then, things were different.

This is my way of preserving the here and now forever.

These days are sweet and full and will not return to us as they are.

Things will change.  We will change.  And life marches on.
So, today...I'm sharing the view from here ~
Because I know it won't be like this for long.

Emma's cousin let her borrow her doll (the blonde one)
complete with clothes and bed ~ SO sweet!
Thank you R...you may never know what joy you've brought.

 Emma tenderly cares for these two as though they were 
a living and breathing part of her little family.

 See the attention to detail?

  It's been gorgeous lately ~
Howie pressure washed and set up the deck furniture last weekend.
The children have taken full advantage of it and migrated  
outside with their studies ~ some more benefits of homeschool.  :)

We cannot tell you how wonderful it is to see 
this young man resume his studies...

...and take up the violin once again!  :)

Howie's parents have been down-sizing.
Pieces of their home have been integrated into ours ~
it's bittersweet.

 This photo was the inspiration for the post title ~
it's the view from our back sundeck...looking to the left.

 This little miss is growing up so quickly ~
remember the last time I posted a photo like this?

Cherish the days and moments and joys of life ~
they really are gifts to be thankful for.
May the LORD continually give us eyes to see
and hearts full of rejoicing in Him.
May He help us truly to enjoy the treasures of now.

Many Blessings to you!
Camille

Thankful Thursday ~ Choosing to See!

On this Thursday, I give thanks.

The LORD truly does all things well.

He gives and gives and gives again.

It's such a blessing to remember that 

all things come from His hand.
And, if we belong to Him, we are in His hand!
Isn't that an incredible thought?

Today, I am choosing to see the blessings of...

~ Outings as a family

~ Growing old together...what a privilege
(No, I am not looking at an airplane...Calvin and Emma were both snapping
photos, and I didn't know which of them to look at!)

~ Impromptu games of chess played on the floor

 ~ Books from long ago making their way into the children's hands

 ~ Thoughtful boys who wanted to give their Mum a break...
thank you Calvin and Fraser  XO

 ~ Friends within the family, and games of tennis

enjoyed at the park just a bike-ride away

 ~ Two independent (and yet, dependent) young men...

how quickly they grow!

 ~ My bookends and their special time together...

Austin helped Emma choose a tennis racket at the store

 ~ Family times and birthdays to celebrate!

 ~ My precious family...

Howie's birthday celebration at home

It's good to remember all that the LORD has done.

It's refreshing to recount the many ways in which He blesses.
It's a good thing to give Him thanks.

May you know His blessings upon you this day!

With Love,
Camille

**First two images in this post courtesy of Calvin ~
Thank you my love!  XO

It's a Tradition

Every year (for quite some time now),

we make an effort to 

go to Burnaby Village Museum one evening

prior to Christmas Day.

It's a tradition.

And, a wonderful one at that!  :)

We ran into friends on our way in.

In fact, these are the friends who

originally told us about this fabulous museum.

How fun is that?

We enjoyed going through much of it together.

And, when we parted company,

we reconnected throughout the evening.

We couldn't have planned it better if we had tried!  

Since Calvin is our family photographer,

Howie and I get into more photos together.

It's a new thing.

We're Canadian...can you tell?

Our sweet friends rode with us on

the restored carousel.

And, Calvin took photos.  
In the photo below ~
Fraser and I are standing on the left of the carousel,
Austin, Emma and Howie are seated on their mounts!  :)

Even Austin was able to join in!

What a blessing!!

Here's our favourite house on this site.

It's in its original location ~

built about 100 years ago.

Yes, in Canada, that is old enough to be in a museum!  

Want to come in for some hot chocolate

or hot apple cider?

Emma and I would enjoy hosting you here!  

Ah...there's Calvin!!

He did a self-timed photo and jumped into

it so we could all be together.  :)

We like to end the evening with a stop

at Krispy Kreme on the way home.

Dear me!  It's a dangerous thing to do!!

What are some of the special traditions you have

with your family in the days around Christmas?

It would be lovely if you would share!  :)

Many Blessings,
Camille

**Photos in this post courtesy of Calvin ~

Thank you my love!  XO