Our Future Hope

I've recently been pondering this Truth ~

Our future hope is Austin's present joy.

What an amazing thought ~
How much we have to look forward to!
May we have the grace to patiently persevere.

God is always Good.

His ways are always best.

He is sufficient in all things.

It is a precious blessing to belong to Him!

With Love,
Camille

**Image courtesy of my little 'Em ~ 
Thank you my love!  XO

Always There

Five months ago, today, the Lord called
our Precious Austin Home to Heaven.
We think of him daily.  His absence is felt.
He is missed in the little things of life,
and in the not so little things.  Painfully so.

There are tears.  Every. Single. Day.

The reality of life without our Austin
is sinking in.  It's always there.  Always with us.
We will carry it with us until the day we die.
It's part of who we are.  Who we've become.

We feel it.  Keenly.  And, it hurts.
So very, very much!

 ~ Austin in Fall 2009 ~

However, Austin is not hurting.  He is not sad.
He does not cry.  He is happy and complete.
He is praising the Lord without hindrance.
He does not have to battle the world,
the flesh and the evil one any longer.

He has been freed from his body of death.

One day, that body will rise in perfection.
It will be reunited with his soul.
One day, that will be true for us, as well.
What a precious future we have if we are the Lord's!

Our hearts are fixed more and more on Heaven.
Less and less on this world.
And, our Precious Saviour is with us in this journey.
He is Faithful.  He is Good.  He does all things well.
His Word is a comfort to our hearts.
His Truth is what keeps us from despair.

So, we walk this day with Him.
Each step.  Moment by moment.  Looking to Him.
It's the only way forward.  There is no other option.
It's a battle to keep our eyes focused.
A battle to keep our hearts set on what's True.
It's what we must do.

By His grace.  In His strength.  For His glory.
May we always be found giving Him praise.
He alone is worthy.

Many Blessings,
Camille

Comforting the Grieving

**Please know that this post is not a plea for further kindness to be
shown to us ~ We have been abundantly loved through this journey!
We are not lacking in anything.  Nothing at all.

A friend of a friend shared another grieving Mom's

blog with me ~ as you might imagine, I visited.

Many of the things she has written have blessed my heart.
I only visited briefly, however, and do not personally know this lady.
As with anything I share, please read with discernment.

Having said that, I'd like to share the links 
to two of her posts here today.  Perhaps they will bless your heart as well.

The first ~ 10 Things Bereaved Parents Wish You Knew ~

is a practical list of how those grieving may be feeling.
Each individual grieves differently, but,

I do believe that we all desire to be loved through the process.

This list may help define the ways in which 

we might come along side a grieving friend or loved one.

~ Austin at about age seven ~

The Wrong Thing to Say is the second post that spoke to my heart.

In it, an idea was shared that puts legs to

the ways in which we may comfort those dealing with great loss.

I found it to be a thought-provoking measure

by which I can temper my words when seeking to be an encouragement

to others who are going through a distressingly difficult time.

Loss takes many shapes and forms.

We will each deal with some sort of loss at 

one point or another in our lives.  Perhaps multiple times.

I found these two articles to be very helpful

in formulating my own ideas on how to be a blessing to others.

Again, please let me state that this post is in no way meant

to draw attention to any deficit we are experiencing in our own grief journey.
We have not been neglected.  Quite the contrary, actually.

We continue to be blessed by loving people who are

seeking to uphold us through this deep valley.

We have been blessed beyond measure with the love and kindness

of those the Lord has put into our lives.

Thank you to each of you who is walking this path with us ~
We praise the Lord for you.

Many Blessings,
Camille

Caught Between

Life is full.  It doesn't wait for us to catch up.

Time marches on.  And, we are caught between two worlds.

The here and now and the eternal.

It's a strange place to be.  It's a normal place to be.

The other evening, Howie and I were at a meeting.

We met some people there for the first time.

Of course, the number of children we have came up.

The simple answer?  Four.  We still have four children.

Three boys and a girl.

One just happens to be in Heaven.

What is Heaven like?

I'm caught between two worlds ~ here and there.
We think and talk and read more about Heaven

than we ever have before.

In the past, it was a distant faraway place that 

was in our future.  We were happy about it ~ absolutely.

However, it didn't occupy many of our thoughts.

I was happily caught up with the things of now.

Now, it's more difficult to navigate the now.

But, these are the things that shape us and fit us for eternity.

It's in these things that we learn and grow and are stretched.

Most of all, we learn more of our Great God.

These days, we remember Austin and speak of him freely.

We cry easily and laugh easily ~ it's all part of the process.

This journey is far from over.  And, that's okay.

We don't really want it to end.  We don't want to forget.

The children are diligently doing school and I am trying to catch up.

Part of me doesn't want to catch up.  But, it's the right thing to do.

So, I go through the day ~ step by step.

The children are a step ahead.  And, it is good.

The boys are quite independent in their studies.

They rarely need help any more.

And, when they do require assistance, they tend to go to Howie.

I find myself mostly needed by Emma in the academic things.

Our school life has come full circle.

In the early days of home educating our children, Emma was a tag along.

She was just four and joined in with us in all that were doing.

She sat with us as we read history and explored science.

She came along on the field trips we took.

Emma was included in everything.

She is serious about her studies.

One of her courses is online this year ~

goodness me!  She is growing up, too.

Why can't we just bottle them up and keep them small

for a little while longer?  It's not possible.  

But, wouldn't it be good to slow things down just a bit?

So, these days are full.  They are colour-full.

And, that's how life is, wouldn't you agree?

We need the black and grey colours in our lives
just as much as we need the bright ones. 
It's how it is.  And, it is good.

So, yes.  We have four children.

Austin still lives.  Just not here.

We seek to live these days as the Lord gives them.
Entering in to each moment and enjoying the gift of now.

By His grace and for His glory.  For now and for eternity.

Because nothing else really matters.

With Love,
Camille

Forever Altered

The new me is here to stay.

The new me is living without part of the old me.

Part of me died when Austin did.

I will never again be who I was before Austin

went Home to Heaven.  Never again.

I'm forever altered.

It's not a bad thing, though.
This new me is more weaned from this world.
My eternal perspective has been sharpened.
I long for Heaven more.  I love the Lord more.

I'm dead to me more.

Austin is not the same, either.
He is perfect and free from his body of death.
One day, I will be too.  One day.

Until then, I must live and follow and serve.
I must put aside the things that weigh me down.
I must abandon all my hopes and dreams to my Saviour.
His ways.  His purposes.  His plans.

All for Him.  Surrendered.
By His grace.  For His glory.  Alone.

With Love,
Camille

**Photo courtesy of our friend Rick ~
Thank you so very much!  

Comforting Words

Our precious Auntie Mary gave me a lovely little book

on one of her recent visits to Canada.

I put it into my purse thinking I would read 
snippets of it here and there.

It's full of short quotes from letters which 
Samuel Rutherford wrote nearly 400 years ago.

Recently, I took it out of my purse so I could take it along
on a day trip to visit my friend on the Island.
The trip required over three hours on the ferry ~ lots of time for reading.

I found it to be full of rich nuggets

that ministered to my grieving Mama heart.

Such encouragement, comfort and truth

can be discovered within its pages.  It's precious.

I am sharing a few lines from this little book here today.

May these words be used to encourage your heart as they have mine.

"They are not lost to you that are laid up in Christ's treasury in Heaven.
At the resurrection ye shall meet with them: 
there they are, sent before, but not sent away.
Your Lord loveth you, who is homely to take and give,
borrow and lend."

~ Calvin, Austin and Fraser Circa 2002 ~

"She is not sent away, but only sent before,
like unto a star, which going out of your sight, doth not die and vanish,
but shineth in another hemisphere:
ye see her not, yet she doth shine in another country."

"The child hath but changed a bed in the garden,
and is planted up higher, nearer the sun,
where he shall thrive better than in this out-field moor-ground."

Comforting words?  Absolutely.

Many Blessings,
Camille

**All quotes in this post are taken from Samuel Rutherford's

"The Loveliness of Christ" ~ a rare gem of a book!

Austin's Resurrection Bed

It is such a comforting thing for my Mama heart to consider this ~

Austin's body was sown in corruption, but, it will rise in glory.

Just as the Lord Jesus Christ's body was raised up

in perfection from the tomb, so will Austin's.

From this very spot ~ his resurrection bed.

"But now is Christ risen from the dead,

and become the firstfruits of them that slept."

~ I Corinthians 15:20 ~

"So also is the resurrection of the dead.

It is sown in corruption; it is raised in incorruption:

It is sown in dishonour; it is raised in glory:

it is sown in weakness; it is raised in power:

It is sown a natural body; it is raised a spiritual body.

There is a natural body, and there is a spiritual body."

~ I Corinthians 15:42-44 ~

**Our last name was photo-shopped out of this image**

The grave marker was fashioned from a slab of polished black granite.
We are so pleased with the workmanship of the carving ~ 
the family who did the work are true craftsmen.

We are also thankful for the message it conveys.  
John 6:37 was Austin's favourite verse ~ please click here to read it.

Austin's trust was solely and alone in the finished work of his Saviour.

Our son's body rests in the ground until that glorious day

when all God's people, in the twinkling of an eye,

will be caught up with the Lord Jesus Christ in the air.

"In a moment, in the twinkling of an eye,
at the last trump: for the trumpet shall sound,
and the dead shall be raised incorruptible, 
and we shall be changed."
~ I Corinthians 15:52 ~

What a day that will be!

Rejoicing in the thought of it.

Praising our Great God for the Truth of it.
Life here is temporary.  Life there is permanent.

Many Blessings,

Camille

Only a Moment

A few Sundays ago, after the service, a precious friend

took time to talk and listen and encourage.

She said something that has been such a blessing to my heart.

"The days are long, but, the years are short."

It will only seem a moment before we are ushered into glory.
Life here is temporary.  Life there is permanent.

Helpful words?  Yes.  Comforting?  Absolutely.

Every elderly person I have ever spoken to

says the same thing ~ life flies by!

And, in the twinkling of an eye ~ eternity begins.
It happens this way for all of us.
The big questions, in light of this, are these ~

Where will we spend it?  Where will we go?  Are we ready?

It is not on our own merit that we are welcomed into Heaven.

It is all the Lord's.  All of it.  We depend on His works.  Not ours.
The Lord Jesus Christ's perfect life lived on our behalf.  
The complete and perfect payment of the penalty 
for the sin of His people.  He took our sins upon Himself,
in order that He could bestow His perfection on us.

The Lamb of God.  We must look to Him.  Trust in Him.

Surrender to Him ~ completely and utterly.

In His work alone is Salvation to be found.
It's the only way.  He is the only way.

What is He to you?  Is your peace found in Him?
Is He your all in all?  Do you trust Him with your never dying soul?
 Settle with Him before the time He has granted you is gone.
Before we know it, it will be!
We all face the same reality.  Time is short.
We only have this moment ~ none other is guaranteed.

Flee to Christ while He may be found!

"All that the Father giveth me shall come to me;
and him that cometh to me I will in no wise cast out."
~ John 6:37 ~

The best way to be found of Him is to read His Word.
Begin by reading Genesis, and then read the book of John.
His Word, the Bible, is True.  It's Powerful.
The words can only change us if the words are read.
We can only be changed by the power of the Living God.  By His Grace.
In light of this, please ask the Lord to open your eyes to see and
enlighten your heart to understand.  He is able.  He is merciful.
And, He graciously answers prayers like those.

The greatest thing in all of life is to belong to Him.
Be sure you are His and He is yours ~ nothing is more important.  
Nothing.

Many Blessings,
Camille

**Photo in this post courtesy of Calvin ~
Thank you my love!  XO

The Only Way Forward ~ Ten Weeks

There are times when my breath catches in my throat ~
 it seems as though I may suffocate with the reality we are facing.

When I try to comprehend what it is that we've been called to,
 a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach rises up and threatens to overtake.
When the tears come, as they often do ~
it feels as though they might overwhelm me.
It's a difficult road we have been called to.  Almost crushing.

Austin's absence is felt.  
Keenly.  Everywhere. In everything.
We miss him so very, very much!  

Everything we do is shaded by the grief we are dealing with.
In the midst of this sorrow, however, there are happy times.  
It's the nature of life this side of eternity.
There is conflict in my soul over the reality of it.

How is it possible to be both happy and sad at 
almost precisely the same moment?
It does seem to be contradictory.  But, it isn't.
It is who we are.  Who we are becoming. 
This journey is being used to shape us.  
We are among those who have tasted bitter sorrow and continue to live.
To experience both sadness and happiness 
in this way is not unusual.  We are not unique.

To accurately put it all into words, 
however, is impossible.

~ Calvin, Fraser and Austin circa 2003 ~

Tomorrow marks ten weeks since the LORD called our
precious Austin Home to Heaven.  
Ten Weeks.  Such a long time.  Such a short time.
There is still more to come.  Much more.
It can be crushing to think this through to its end.
Life without our Austin here can be unbearable to imagine.

But, then we remember.  
We reign ourselves in.  We must!

We remind ourselves of the LORD's promises.  
We remember that He is Faithful.  And, that He is Sovereign.
We remember that He is Good and Perfect.
And, that His ways are always best.

 He will never leave nor forsake His own.
His ways are right.  He carries His people through.
Moment by moment.  Day by day.  One step at a time.
He truly does all things well.

It is not blind faith to live like this.
Rather, it is the only way forward through this maze of grief.
We cannot comprehend walking this path without our Lord.
By God's great grace, we do not have to!
He is with us each step of the way.

And the waters will not overflow ~
It's one of His promises to His people.

 ~ Emma and Austin circa 2003 ~

Throughout these days, we seek to remind ourselves of Austin's gain.

His gain, rather than our loss.  Our loss is great.  But, his gain is greater.
He is experiencing many, many blessings ~ we try to keep our thoughts fixed there.
We focus on what is True.  We focus on Heaven and its reality.
We focus on the Lord and His Word.
We point one another continually to these precious things.

"Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, 
neither have entered into the heart of man,
the things which God hath prepared for them that love Him."
~ I Corinthians 2:9 ~

It's then that the comfort comes.  Only then.

It's then that the breathing becomes easier.  Only then.
It's then that my mind is calmed.  Only then.

Only when my eyes are focused on the Truth.

The reality that Austin continues to live ~ in Heaven rather than here.
The reality that Heaven really is our Home.
The reality that we will soon be there as well.

While I ponder these things, I am able to rejoice.

I can rejoice in the fact that Austin is now free.

Free from sin and death and suffering.

Free from this world and all its vices.

Free to worship unhindered.

Truly free!

One day, we will be set free as well.

This is not our home.  Heaven is.
May we live like it.  May we be patient for it.
May the Lord enable us to be useful while we remain here.
For HIS Glory.  By HIS Grace.  In HIS Strength.

With Love,
Camille

How is it Possible?

Joy in sorrow.  Sustained through intense grief.
Walking the path the LORD calls His people to with
grace and strength and courage.

How is it possible?  

How many times have we wondered at this?

When we think of the martyrs who were tied to the stake

and burned there for their faith, we wonder ~ How?

How could they do it?  How was it that they did not crumble?

Where did their courage and strength come from?
How were they able to sing in the midst of the flames?

The answer?  Supernatural Power.

Given by the God of Heaven and Earth.

From the One who created all things from nothing.
From the One who gives life and sustains it.

He is the One from whom their strength came.
He is the One who gave the grace.

They were bolstered up from within.

By God's Grace.  For His glory.

They were carried.  Met in their need.  

They were given all they required in that moment of time.

And for all the events that followed.
They were sustained by Him ~ just as He promised.

Remember what Stephen saw when he was taken to be stoned?

The LORD allowed him a glimpse into Heaven.

He declared it and boldly proclaimed what he saw. 
How powerful his testimony was ~ how precious!
(See Acts 7:54-60)

I cannot compare the bravery of these ones

with our recent experience of burying our precious son, Austin.
But, I can say that throughout these days and weeks
the LORD has not forsaken us ~ He has carried us.
He has provided much grace and strength and peace in the midst of it all.
There is nothing to compare with the comfort He gives.

It is with bold confidence that I can say ~
He will be Faithful to give grace for the journey.
Whatever it is that He calls His people to ~
 He will meet them in it with all that they will need.

It's only possible with Him.
Anything is possible with Him.

We must not rely on ourselves.
We draw strength from His Word and prayer.
We must continually redirect our attention to His Truth.
We comfort ourselves with the doctrine of His Sovereignty.
And, we look to Him each step of the journey He calls us to.
It really is the only way.  HE is the only Way.

May He grant to you His grace and strength and peace
in whatever He calls you to ~ He is Faithful.

Much Love,
Camille

**Photo in this post courtesy of Emma ~
Thank you my love.  XO

Transitioning

As I mentioned in my last post ~

Austin is not forgotten, nor will he be.

We are not moving on ~ we are moving forward.

In light of this, I'm transitioning to posts similar 

to those prior to eight weeks ago.

I plan on publishing recipes and thankfulness posts,

thoughtful posts and funny ones ~ just as in the past.

This does not mean we have stopped grieving.  
On the contrary ~ we will continue to grieve for some time to come.

God, in His great and powerful mercy, goes before us ~
just as He has in days gone by.  He walks this path with us.

He will never leave nor forsake us.

How wonderful the thought!

As I transition, please know that it may be a bumpy ride.

It's a process.  I have no idea how long it will take.

I'm inclined to think that this is normal.

At least, I like to entertain the idea that it is.

Don't we all like to think we are normal?  :)

May the LORD give grace to follow Him where He leads.

There is nothing to fear.  Truly.  Nothing.

He is Faithful.  He is Gracious.  He is Good.

HE is Everything.

Many Blessings,
Camille

**Photo in this post courtesy of my Little 'Em ~
Thank you my love!  XO

Just Passing Through

This blog is a little slice of our lives.

It's been a place to share my heart in both good times and bad.

It's been a place to share the love of the LORD and His Truth.

Recipes and funny moments and my journal of thanks 

have all been recorded here.

Snippets of the everyday have been treasured up.
  

Piece by piece.  Moment by moment.

Life is just like that...don't you think?

All jumbled up and mixed together and rolled into one.

The good and the bad and the humorous and the painful ~

The regular and the extraordinary. 

These are the things that make up our lives.

What a blessing it is that we do not know the future before it's given to us.

God is Gracious and meets us in the moments.

He walks before us.  He is Faithful.  He does all things well.

These last many weeks we have been thrown into a

new season ~ one in which Austin is only included in our memories.

We are making new ones without him.

We think in terms of before Austin died and after.

It's surreal.  It's difficult.  And, yet...life does go on.

As much as we would like life to stop and stand still awhile ~ It doesn't.  

Why doesn't it?  Why can't it?

It's a mercy, really.  

The way it works is designed by a Loving God.
He has orchestrated it to be so.  Yes, we live.  And, so does Austin.  

He lives in his eternal Home and we live here until the LORD takes us there.
Interesting how that is.  We are just passing through.  

Our Austin has arrived.  Ahead of us.

We will never forget him.

We think of him each and every day.

In fact, we think of him multiple times throughout the day.

He naturally comes up in conversation and in the quiet of our hearts.

We must continually remind ourselves that he is complete now.

His earthly pilgrimage has come to its close.

We are still on ours.

So, we must be faithful.  We must serve.

We must live and obey and follow.

Until that day when we are called Home.

Whenever that may be.

In the days to come, I will remember ~ Austin will be part of that.

He will make his way into posts ~ he is still part of our family.

In moving forward, we are not moving on.

We are just following ~ Austin has gone on ahead.

May we live in such a way as to complete our journey well.

May we be found following our Saviour each step of the way.

Wherever He may lead ~ just as our precious Austin did.

By HIS grace.  For HIS glory.  Alone.

With Love,
Camille

**Photo courtesy of my Uncle Gordon ~
Thank you SO much!  XO

When Someone is Grieving

**This post is not a plea for further help ~ 
Please understand that we have been very well cared for!
Thank you to each one of you who has carried us in so many ways.  :)

It is, however, meant to be an encouragement to those of you who may have the 
opportunity to walk along side someone who is grieving now or in the future.
It is a great blessing to be able to walk through the valley with another.

**I can only write this post due to having been shown love and care
in the many following practical ways ~ I certainly had no idea how much was involved.
Many of you will already know all these things...but, I didn't!  

In our recent days of intense grieving, we were showered
with much love and practical help.
Cards, flowers, emails and voice messages were kindly sent to us.

Meals were delivered to our door ~ some came frozen and some came fresh.

Loved ones came along to just sit and brain storm and execute the plans being made.

Ironing and dishes and general tidying up were done.
Many helped with the graveside and memorial services
as well as the luncheon that followed.
Little and not so little *unknown* things were done behind the scenes.
It's been overwhelming to be on the receiving end of such loving care.

I cannot begin to tell you what a blessing it all has been.

When people offered to help, they were given something to do.
Sometimes the one grieving doesn't even know what needs doing.
Ask those closest to them how you may help ~ they likely will know.

It can be a difficult thing to know what to say or do when someone is grieving.
Especially if you've never gone through a similar type of loss.
Eventually, however, we will all experience grief of one sort or another.

We all grieve differently.  But, I think we are all similar in this one thing ~

We surely are blessed to be loved through the process.

There are so many ways in which love can be shown.

A listening ear without saying much ~ just *being there*.
Encourage the one grieving to share what's on their 
heart or just hug them while they cry.

Helping out in practical ways is another loving thing to do ~ 
provide a meal or something else needed.

Perhaps come along side with helping hands to iron or clean or?

There may be times when the one grieving will want to talk it out.
They will want to remember their precious loved one ~
and they will want you to remember him or her as well.
Some memories will stir up tears and others will generate smiles.

It's all normal.  The various displays of emotion are all part of the process.

We all grieve differently, and that's okay.

It's a good idea to go with their lead in these things.
Perhaps it will be too much to have memories brought up
at this tender time, or maybe it will be just what is needed.
The LORD will give wisdom to know when to talk and when to keep silent.
Those grieving will not always know what they need or even be able to articulate it.
Each of us, however, benefits from being pointed to Scripture and the Truth.

When you don't know what else to say or do ~ 
Prayer and sharing God's Word is always appropriate.

One fear that may be harboured in the heart of the one who has had to say 
goodbye to a loved one is that they will forget ~ that their loved one will be forgotten.
Help them remember.  When they are ready, share your memories.
In these ways the heart is comforted and the pain lessened.

Seek the LORD for opportunities to be a blessing.
Look for things to do that will ease the burden.
Write notes of encouragement that include Scripture.
And, most importantly ~ Pray!

Pray that the God of all comfort 
would give His peace and His grace and His strength.
Pray that joy would come in the morning.
Pray that they would not forget HIM in the midst of it all.
Pray for them the way you would like to be prayed for.

And, treat them how you would wish to be treated ~
It's a wonderful, beautiful thing.
By God's Grace, we have been cared for amazingly well ~
He has blessed us with such supportive and loving people!!
Thank you, each one of you, from the bottom of our hearts.
May the LORD help us to comfort others as you have comforted us.

With Love,
Camille

**Photos in this post courtesy of my Uncle Gordon ~
Thank you SO much!  XO