Caught Between

Life is full.  It doesn't wait for us to catch up.

Time marches on.  And, we are caught between two worlds.

The here and now and the eternal.

It's a strange place to be.  It's a normal place to be.

The other evening, Howie and I were at a meeting.

We met some people there for the first time.

Of course, the number of children we have came up.

The simple answer?  Four.  We still have four children.

Three boys and a girl.

One just happens to be in Heaven.

What is Heaven like?

I'm caught between two worlds ~ here and there.
We think and talk and read more about Heaven

than we ever have before.

In the past, it was a distant faraway place that 

was in our future.  We were happy about it ~ absolutely.

However, it didn't occupy many of our thoughts.

I was happily caught up with the things of now.

Now, it's more difficult to navigate the now.

But, these are the things that shape us and fit us for eternity.

It's in these things that we learn and grow and are stretched.

Most of all, we learn more of our Great God.

These days, we remember Austin and speak of him freely.

We cry easily and laugh easily ~ it's all part of the process.

This journey is far from over.  And, that's okay.

We don't really want it to end.  We don't want to forget.

The children are diligently doing school and I am trying to catch up.

Part of me doesn't want to catch up.  But, it's the right thing to do.

So, I go through the day ~ step by step.

The children are a step ahead.  And, it is good.

The boys are quite independent in their studies.

They rarely need help any more.

And, when they do require assistance, they tend to go to Howie.

I find myself mostly needed by Emma in the academic things.

Our school life has come full circle.

In the early days of home educating our children, Emma was a tag along.

She was just four and joined in with us in all that were doing.

She sat with us as we read history and explored science.

She came along on the field trips we took.

Emma was included in everything.

She is serious about her studies.

One of her courses is online this year ~

goodness me!  She is growing up, too.

Why can't we just bottle them up and keep them small

for a little while longer?  It's not possible.  

But, wouldn't it be good to slow things down just a bit?

So, these days are full.  They are colour-full.

And, that's how life is, wouldn't you agree?

We need the black and grey colours in our lives
just as much as we need the bright ones. 
It's how it is.  And, it is good.

So, yes.  We have four children.

Austin still lives.  Just not here.

We seek to live these days as the Lord gives them.
Entering in to each moment and enjoying the gift of now.

By His grace and for His glory.  For now and for eternity.

Because nothing else really matters.

With Love,
Camille