An Amputation

The best way to describe what it feels like without

Austin here with us is this ~ it's like we've suffered an amputation.

None of us has lost a limb, so I cannot say if this is an accurate analogy.

But, if we could imagine what it would be like to lose

an arm or a leg, it may feel something like this.

His absence has left a hole in our family.

  

We are used to being in constant contact with each other

in the comings and goings of day to day life and living.

We've never been away from our children for very long.

Howie's longest separation from us was on a business trip ~

he was away for eleven days.

I had the opportunity to go to Wales to help our precious

Uncle die at home ~ I was gone for two weeks.

Austin's been in Heaven now for over five weeks.

Oh, how desperately we miss him.

It hurts.  We can easily be brought to tears.

Without warning, the sadness wells up inside and spills out.

Yes, life goes on.  But, Austin's absence is felt.  Keenly.

In the empty bedroom.  The empty desk.

The empty place at the table and in the van.

In my counting out five, not six, place settings.

In evening devotional times, and when Fraser plays the piano ~ alone.

In the violin sitting silent in its case, and the music on the stand unplayed.

I am missing...

Hearing his voice and feeling his hug.

Passing him on the stairs or in the hallway.

Seeing him drive up the street with a wave and smile.

Hearing him say ~ "Good Night", or "Good Morning".

I miss the connection with him in the sense of humour we shared.

I miss the thoughtful things he would say or do.
His quiet presence was precious.  I didn't realise just how much.

In all these ways, and so many, many more ~ 
he is missed.  Terribly.

~ L to R: Austin (9), Emma (2), Calvin (7), Fraser (5) ~

But, God is Greater than our grief.

He is Greater than our sorrow and even our loss.

He meets us in this journey and walks the path with us.  He goes before us.

Our loss is only temporary.  Our loss is Austin's gain.  He lives.

And, one day we will join him in Heaven to worship our Saviour forever.

Eternity is real and everlasting.  Time is temporary.

This separation is for such a short while, in reality.

Oh, that we would have eyes to see

and hearts to truly believe and comprehend these things.

By God's great and merciful grace, we do.  We will.

We must continually remind ourselves that

though we miss our Austin, he is not missing us.

He is HOME.  And, he is rejoicing.

One day, the LORD will take us Home as well.

Heaven is more glorious than we can imagine.

And best of all, the Lord Jesus is there.

"...Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man,

the things which God hath prepared for them that love him."

~ I Corinthians 2:9 ~

How precious it is to know that the LORD has Austin with Him,
and that he is well and free from pain and suffering and sin.

He is praising the God he loves.

These thoughts ease some of the pain of this separation.

It is a comfort to our hearts.

And so we continue on.

Moment by moment.  Step by step. With the LORD.

It's what we are called to do.  By HIS Grace.

Many Blessings,
Camille