Oh how difficult this one is!
Really D.I.F.F.I.C.U.L.T.!
But so necessary for a godly and fulfilled marriage.
We as women are called to this ~ it is not an option.
It is Obedience.
In light of last week's post on the subject of marriage,
and in light of those friends of mine in unusual circumstances...
this post is somewhat of a sequel.
What do you do if your husband is not a Christian?
What do you do if he doesn't want to pray?
Or doesn't want to lead the family in devotional times?
What do you do if he is on a "different page" spiritually.
I have encountered dear ladies in most, if not all, of these situations.
Oh how we need the LORD's wisdom and grace!
How we need HIS strength in all these things.
God is gracious and merciful and it is HE that keeps us ~
not US who keeps us!
How blessed we are that HE does not leave us to ourselves!
The marriage advice we were given has held us in good stead over the years. Oh there are times it has been hard ~ nearly I.M.P.O.S.S.I.B.L.E. to follow ~ but with God all things are possible ~ how precious that truth is!
The key thing is to be sure your own heart is right with God. Be sure you are not harbouring any unconfessed sin. Seek God on this matter. He is faithful and will show you the areas that need attention in your heart. If your husband is not a Christian, it is your responsibility to pray for his Salvation and live before him in a meek and gentle way.
"Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear."
I Peter 3:1-2
See also I Corinthians 7:10-16
What if he doesn't want to pray or lead in Family Worship?
You are not called to be his conscience ~ what a liberating thought.
Pray quietly for him and live sweetly with him ~
remember that with the LORD all things are possible.
Ask the LORD privately to convict your husband of the need to be leading you in this way and wait patiently for the LORD to do the work.
In the meantime and as you are able, teach your children ~ do not neglect their spiritual well-being. Just do it in such a way that you are still submissive to your husband. You will need great wisdom to know how to implement this. How precious that God will give that wisdom as we ask Him for it!
"If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God,
that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not;
and it shall be given him."
James 1:5
Oh and the "different page spiritually" ~ that's a tough one!
I would caution you as a wife to be very careful about abandoning your husband's protection and guidance in your walk with the Saviour. Obviously if he is not saved, that is another matter and you will need to seek out godly counsel to know how to deal with that. Be sure the counsel you get is Scriptural and sound ~ not just man's opinion. We as wives are called to follow our husband and he is called to lead.
It is God's design.
"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church:
and he is the saviour of the body.
Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ,
so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing."
Ephesians 5:22-24
How do we begin?
Begin with prayer.
Maybe your husband is waiting for you to encourage him in these things.
Maybe all it will take is a suggestion from you. It would be best to approach this subject when you have time to share your heart. Pick your moment...likely when it is just the two of you. Try to be encouraging and build him up. Some suggestions for where to begin?
We love Spurgeon's "Morning and Evening". It is a devotional written by a godly pastor from the 1800's. You will find that there are two readings for each day of the year...you may want to just read through one reading at a time ignoring the dates. Whatever way you do it I am sure you will be greatly encouraged. Although it was written over 100 years ago, it is so relevant for today! Much like God's Word...it's never out of date.
How to pray together?
Read a Psalm or a few verses of Scripture and pray it for your spouse, your children and your family members. Pray what you read back to God. If it is praise you are reading, use it to jump start your own praises to God. If it is supplication, use it to fuel the prayers you are praying for others.
Some examples of wonderful verses to pray through are Colossians chapter 3,
I Corinthians 13:1-7, Matthew 5:3-12
and Psalm chapter 1.
Another great resource is Sermon Audio where you can download sermons to listen to that will fortify and edify you both. Maybe suggest that your husband pick one he would like to listen to together and set aside a time to make it happen. Sometimes all that is needed is a little encouragement.
Again, this post is in no way meant to discourage. There are as many situations as there are marriages out there. I pray that it will be an encouragement to your heart in whatever situation you find yourself. I do not think for a moment that I have arrived in this area. To further illustrate my feelings as I write this post, I would like to quote the following passage of Scripture:
"Not as though I had already attained, either were already perfect:
but I follow after, if that I may apprehend that for which
also I am apprehended of Christ Jesus.
Brethren, I count myself not to have apprehended:
but this one thing I do, forgetting those things that are behind,
and reaching forth unto those things which are before,
I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus."
Philippians 3:12-14
There is always HOPE.
Look to the LORD...He is able to do far above what we ask or think!
Be encouraged with the words of the LORD to His people found in the Old Testament:
"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you. And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart. And I will be found of you, saith the LORD:"...
Jeremiah 29:11-14a
Really D.I.F.F.I.C.U.L.T.!
But so necessary for a godly and fulfilled marriage.
We as women are called to this ~ it is not an option.
It is Obedience.
In light of last week's post on the subject of marriage,
and in light of those friends of mine in unusual circumstances...
this post is somewhat of a sequel.
What do you do if your husband is not a Christian?
What do you do if he doesn't want to pray?
Or doesn't want to lead the family in devotional times?
What do you do if he is on a "different page" spiritually.
I have encountered dear ladies in most, if not all, of these situations.
Oh how we need the LORD's wisdom and grace!
How we need HIS strength in all these things.
God is gracious and merciful and it is HE that keeps us ~
not US who keeps us!
How blessed we are that HE does not leave us to ourselves!
The marriage advice we were given has held us in good stead over the years. Oh there are times it has been hard ~ nearly I.M.P.O.S.S.I.B.L.E. to follow ~ but with God all things are possible ~ how precious that truth is!
The key thing is to be sure your own heart is right with God. Be sure you are not harbouring any unconfessed sin. Seek God on this matter. He is faithful and will show you the areas that need attention in your heart. If your husband is not a Christian, it is your responsibility to pray for his Salvation and live before him in a meek and gentle way.
"Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear."
I Peter 3:1-2
See also I Corinthians 7:10-16
What if he doesn't want to pray or lead in Family Worship?
You are not called to be his conscience ~ what a liberating thought.
Pray quietly for him and live sweetly with him ~
remember that with the LORD all things are possible.
Ask the LORD privately to convict your husband of the need to be leading you in this way and wait patiently for the LORD to do the work.
In the meantime and as you are able, teach your children ~ do not neglect their spiritual well-being. Just do it in such a way that you are still submissive to your husband. You will need great wisdom to know how to implement this. How precious that God will give that wisdom as we ask Him for it!
"If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God,
that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not;
and it shall be given him."
James 1:5
Oh and the "different page spiritually" ~ that's a tough one!
I would caution you as a wife to be very careful about abandoning your husband's protection and guidance in your walk with the Saviour. Obviously if he is not saved, that is another matter and you will need to seek out godly counsel to know how to deal with that. Be sure the counsel you get is Scriptural and sound ~ not just man's opinion. We as wives are called to follow our husband and he is called to lead.
It is God's design.
"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church:
and he is the saviour of the body.
Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ,
so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing."
Ephesians 5:22-24
How do we begin?
Begin with prayer.
Maybe your husband is waiting for you to encourage him in these things.
Maybe all it will take is a suggestion from you. It would be best to approach this subject when you have time to share your heart. Pick your moment...likely when it is just the two of you. Try to be encouraging and build him up. Some suggestions for where to begin?
We love Spurgeon's "Morning and Evening". It is a devotional written by a godly pastor from the 1800's. You will find that there are two readings for each day of the year...you may want to just read through one reading at a time ignoring the dates. Whatever way you do it I am sure you will be greatly encouraged. Although it was written over 100 years ago, it is so relevant for today! Much like God's Word...it's never out of date.
How to pray together?
Read a Psalm or a few verses of Scripture and pray it for your spouse, your children and your family members. Pray what you read back to God. If it is praise you are reading, use it to jump start your own praises to God. If it is supplication, use it to fuel the prayers you are praying for others.
Some examples of wonderful verses to pray through are Colossians chapter 3,
I Corinthians 13:1-7, Matthew 5:3-12
and Psalm chapter 1.
Another great resource is Sermon Audio where you can download sermons to listen to that will fortify and edify you both. Maybe suggest that your husband pick one he would like to listen to together and set aside a time to make it happen. Sometimes all that is needed is a little encouragement.
Again, this post is in no way meant to discourage. There are as many situations as there are marriages out there. I pray that it will be an encouragement to your heart in whatever situation you find yourself. I do not think for a moment that I have arrived in this area. To further illustrate my feelings as I write this post, I would like to quote the following passage of Scripture:
"Not as though I had already attained, either were already perfect:
but I follow after, if that I may apprehend that for which
also I am apprehended of Christ Jesus.
Brethren, I count myself not to have apprehended:
but this one thing I do, forgetting those things that are behind,
and reaching forth unto those things which are before,
I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus."
Philippians 3:12-14
There is always HOPE.
Look to the LORD...He is able to do far above what we ask or think!
Be encouraged with the words of the LORD to His people found in the Old Testament:
"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you. And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart. And I will be found of you, saith the LORD:"...
Jeremiah 29:11-14a
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